| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|10:19 am] |
Memories of 2005
New Years cruise with the entire family
driving around with ashlyn drinking starbucks and blasting gavin degraw
Mr. Travas social studies class.all we talked about was food and american idol.
the musical.good times with my birdies
sleepovers with merideth
first concert-jimmy eat world and taking back sunday
seeing wicked and going to serendipity with ash
junior prom-drinking with dayle in the bathroom almost peeing my pants with laughter,first time talking to john.having to pee the worst ever in the limo.hamptons diner.robbies basement.never drinking hypnotic again
pats party.being head over heels for john.making out the entire night.
sisterhood of the traveling pants.
starbucks date.
beach trips with john ash and dayle
me and john beating everyone in flip cup at matts.
73659 trips to coldstone
country fair
driving out to montauk with john.him driving home with only his permit because he wanted me to sleep.
'The Notebook night'
our beach nights.
driving home at 4 in the morning from johns.being wide awake.
pumpkin picking with the llewellyn family
the world we knew show
weekend of funapalooza.almost dying in that haunted house.feeling so old with no parents.
my first cut day with john.
christmas.opening presents at 2am on christmas eve.
new years eve.just wow.
and so many more...
just being so incredibly happy from june until now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:47 pm] |
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♥ ♥ ♥ I LOVE THIS BOY MORE THAN WORDS ♥ ♥ ♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|10:35 pm] |
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Happy Birthday baby! I know the next year will be amazing. So many good times in the past and so many to look forward to. I love youuuuu <3333 |
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| everything you are is everything to me |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|06:51 pm] |
im in such a wierd mood right now.so fragile.my mom said we were on our own for dinner tonight and i started yelling at her.and i dont know why.i had kind of a bad day today i guess.i'm realizing how few people there are that I actually care about.People who i call my friends who actually just say mean shit and dont even care. I guess thats just how people are.and i dont even care anymore.i dont need to be with a person who just makes me feel shitty and puts me in a bad mood.and says stupid shit about the people I do care about.im not putting up with it.because today, i just took it out on everyone else.i yelled at my mother and i was being retarded with john.and now i dont know.i just feel so blah.
i asked john a really stupid question today.i dont even know why i asked because i knew the answer.i guess i was just being dumb. i just, idk i just feel so much.ive never loved someone so much so fast before and im just scared.scared that something is gunna happen and ill just lose him.im so happy being with him.i havent been this happy in a long time.and everyone prolly feels this way in their first relationship, but i can really see this going somewhere.and lasting.because i feel like we just click.its funny when that happens.when you meet someone and you just feel something.and when it happens, you know immediately.and now its so unfair.i feel like in a blink of an eye ill be off to college and i know that we'll stay together even when i go away but its gunna be so unbelievably hard.and i know that.and everytime i think about it, i just get so sad.and i know thats stupid.because nothing will change.
but its hard not to think about it when every other word is about next year.where im going, what im studying,whats gunna happen with me and john,what schools im applying to.
and i changed my major for the 45th time in the last year.i was dead-set on fashion marketing.i loved LIM and FIT.i was ready to send in my applications.but then idk something just hit me.maybe its because i found out that the manager at abercrombie kids went to fit.FIT for 4 years and is now working in a mall for 30,000 a year. is that really what i want to do? spend 20,000 a year for 4 years to end up at the smithhaven mall telling teenagers what shirts to fold and making shit money doing it? no way. so im going with my other choice.which has always been in the back of my mind.and i think will be the smarter choice in the end.yeah, pharmacy is gunna be really hard and im gunna have to work my ass off but i think it'll def. pay off in the end. im practically guaranteed a job right out of college making between 60,000 and 100,000 dollars.that sounds a whole lot more rational than 30,000. and maybe, i wont be in the city where i really wanted to go, but i wont be more than 4 hours away.and ideally, ill be in queens which would be perfect.
tomorrow im taking off from school.i have never been so excited to take a day off and i need it.john is staying home too and we're going out to breakfast and christmas shopping at the mall and just having the whole house to ourselves.i cant wait. |
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| the weekend of funapalooza :) |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|12:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
i realllllly dont want to do this english project.its due wednesday but i know that if i dont do it today, it wont get done.id rather just watch nip/tuck and just eat all day.im such a bum.
this weekend was so much fun.friday after school i had a doctors appt i had been dreading the entire week but it was fine and i was so happy that it was over.me and john got taco bell and then dayle,craig,natasha,shannon, some other kid and me and john all decide to go to this haunted mansion and corn maze in ward melville.i had no idea how cold or crowded it would be but it was freeeezing.me and john were zipped up into one sweatshirt and could barely move.so after standing on line for like 2 hours, we get into the house and its so scary i just immediately closed my eyes and held on to john for dear life.i decided im the biggest chicken with haunted houses.its always fun afterward and i usually can actually see but this one was just so scary.and it was 20 minutes long.so after we got chased out by texas chainsaw guy we decided that it was too cold and late to do the corn maze.so we went home.john stayed til 1 and i went to bed.then saturday me and john did nothing all day and i loved it.just bumming around.at night me dayle craig and john decide to go back to that place and do the corn maze.we heard it was 7 acres and i wasnt really scared until i saw michael myers outside the door.i was so proud of myself though.i,once again,had a death grip on john but saw the whole thing.it was pretty scary and we were in the back and things kept following us but it was fun.and i had the best hot chocolate i think ive ever had there.me and john went back to my house and hung out.wanted to watch saw before we went to see the sequel tomorrow but we fell asleep and didnt wake up til 130.oops.today john has a show in the city and i have to do this stooopid english project.
i felt so old this weekend with no parents around or anything.just getting take-out every night.and hanging out.its wierd to think that that is what its gunna be like next year.i think im gunna love it.minus the fact i wont see john everyday like i do now.but we'll work it out.and it wont be bad considering ill most likely be in the city only like an hour away.
im gunna eat.and then maybe do this project.mrs.sullivan is a lunatic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|12:02 pm] |
last night was intense.but we both needed it.it reinforced how much I feel for you.how ive never felt like this about anyone in my life.and how much i love you.you have no idea how much you mean to me.everytime we're together im just so happy.and leaving you gets harder every night.ive known you for four months and i feel like ive known you forever.i can just be so comfortable around you.every little thing you do makes me love you even more.
to the boy who warms my feet up when they’re cold.who is the best ipod dj'er ever.who worries about me when i watch scary movies.who is sick at mini-golf but tries to let me win.who likes to drive from montauk risking everything just so i can sleep on the way home.who rides his bike all the way to my house at 8 in the morning only to run into my mom.who loves pete.who doesn’t care that i drool all over him when i sleep.who likes to hold my books in the hallway.who always holds the door open for me.who actually lets me watch sex and the city and pretends to like it.who doesn’t care when i have stubbly legs or when i scrub out.who will go to the mall with me and not complain about what an annoying shopper i am.who is even more badass than me.who holds my hand all the time.who leaves cute notes in my locker.who is great with kids.who kisses my back in just the right place.who is the only person who loves coldstone as much as i do.who saw sisterhood of the traveling pants just for me.who is so talented.who walks to watch hill with me while we get eaten alive by mosquitos.who brings me dunkin donuts when i have a long night of work.who has serious skills when it comes to convincing me to stay late.who lets me have his comfiest sweatpants.who always smells good.who likes to play card and board games.who loves my bed more than i do.who walks in on me in american eagle dressing rooms.who says corny(but extremely cute) things.who gives the best massages.who always finishes the food i cant eat.who is an awesome drummer.who likes sister sister and even stevens.who is the most understanding person i know.who i can talk to for hours.who i can fall asleep next to.who walks me out to my car no matter how cold or rainy it is. who is can play scrabble with and wont laugh at the words i come up with.who has been such a big part of my life the past 4 months. Many more memories to come.
i.love.you. |
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| we like to be sleepyheads |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|05:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | kelly clarksons stuck in my head | ] |
its been a while but im bored sooo i figured theres no better way to waste time than with lj.i neeeeeeed a job.davis park ferry is officially over and i will soon be in debt.i would also like a new car, although i doubt that will happen anytime in the near future.my parents are going away in less than a month for an entire week.i cant wait.not that we'll be home alone bc my uncle lives like in the same town and im sure he'll be checking up but just the fact that i can go out whenever i want and just eat fast food every night.its gunna be sick.
i went pumpkin picking the other day with johns family.and yesterday we closed the pool.im coming to the realization that summers really over.which on one hand is sad, because this summer was probably the best yet. but on the other hand, i feel like theres so much to look forward to.i think this year is gunna be a memorable one.and although i hate the cold weather, for now im glad ill get to wear my sweaters and love the smell of fall.
i think my ipods broken.i charge it like the whole night and i play it for a half hour and the battery dies.but it doesnt just shut off like this battery meter shows up.its wierd.and really annoying.has this happened to anyone else? or do i just have the worst luck with ipods ever? i dont know whether its the actual ipod or the charger.i think im gunna take it to the apple store in roosevelt field but going there with zero money will be depressing.
i realllly want this halloween to be good.it sucks that its on a monday but i at least want to do something the weekend before(also the same weekend my parents are going away and lors coming down to 'babysit') or even that night.last year was terrible and i just dont want that to happen all over again.im thinking fright fest would be fun to do one day that weekend.and i think saw 2 comes out around then too.im pathetically excited for it.
i think dinners ready.finally. |
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| you keep me high minded |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|10:41 am] |
plane by jason mraz.download it.one of my favorite songs ever.
the last week of summer is depressing.i cant even enjoy it because i keep thinking about how soon school is and how i still have to go school shopping.
john added new songs to my ipod finally.pretty much because we were both so sick of hearing the same 5 songs we like in the car.i hadnt updated it since i first got it like last november.so now its awesome.thankkk you boyfriend <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|09:46 pm] |
its hitting me hard that summer if almost over.this is the first time that i dont want to go back whatsoever.especially since getting my schedule.im hopefully getting it changed so that i can have early release and drop that stupid career management class and maybe not have 2 periods of study hall.i love everything the way it is now.and i know its gunna be different when school starts.everyone will have set schedules.there wont be that freedom that you always feel during summer.
north carolina was actually better than i expected it to be.i think my grandparents were really glad that we visited.and the shopping was crazy.i didnt even buy anything practical like school clothes and stuff.just sweatpants,which i live in now.i missed john a lot down there though.i know that we're at that point when all we wanna do is just be with eachother all the time and with both of us going on vacations right after another,its hard.but after this week,it'll be better.i honestly couldnt be happier.for so long i went without a boyfriend and just complained and shit.but it was so worth the wait.it seems wierd that like a few months ago i barely knew him, and now its wierd if we dont see eachother every day.we're just so comfortable with eachother and i think thats really important in a relationship.that you can just be yourself.
i feel bad though because i havent seen ashlyn or dayle in more than week.i shouldve went out with them tonight but im so tired.and i have so much stuff to do before lake george on sunday.and im working 30 hours between today and saturday.i wanted to see them but i feel like right now, i just need to sleep.
and if one more person asks me what college im going to next year, i might cry.because i dont even want to think about it.
im tired.and really cold all of the sudden.i think im going to bed. |
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| you spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|07:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mae | ] |
one month of summer left.this makes me extremely sad.another thing that makes me sad...no more staying out til' 4am.i think i hate parents.
my sex and the city dvd is calling me.
*summer.its summer.where all you hope for is another.* |
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